My heart melted today. Hubby texted me and said to pray for Chad Iris’s Family. He said that Chad’s wife left him and he hung himself. The body was found this morning.

It was hard to hold my emotions it. I didn’t understand why and yet I did understand why. I was in denial to the fact that life can be hard and not everyone can always get pass the mountains that’s planted before us.

God said He would never put us through anything we can’t handle, but we don’t put forth enough how the enemy can still whisper how easy it is to just give up.

I went to his Facebook page and saw this…

The last question is when I lost it! I had to finish my work and then I quickly went to the Serenity room in Jacobs. A quiet place for anything, even prayer. For me, I just wanted to cry. Then, my pain from my past came through – all the hurt, the hate, the anger, the pain, came rushing. Then, my patient’s tears today and their pain made me question what type of pain was the worse, “Physical, mental, or emotional pain?” Does spiritual count? Is that considered emotional? I don’t know.

Mental must be the worse. It’s something we can’t see. Pain can only take it away for a moment but if we don’t heal the mind, it just lingers. We can’t forget and it’s always there even when we try, even after we’ve forgiven, but it comes back.

I remember asking, “Where are you God?”

And I heard whisper, “I’m right here, carrying you…”

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