Fago De Chao

Made a silly joke with the kiddos and told them I want to be a bathroom critic. LOL!

I’ve done a few before this one, but here’s for a popular Brazilian Restaurant in San Diego

Points are earned by a rating of 1-5 for the following:

Entry: 3 – kind of hidden not really grand or welcoming

Cleanliness: 4

Convenience: 5 – extra toilet paper and towels were available, so your not like stuck and end up using the seat cover.

Design: 4 – simple but not Awe-mazing! The space around the toilet was normal, and the privacy were like any other stalls…

The color contrast was pleasant and the music that played was made the “moment” chill. I love the huge mirror and the door design.

Overall average: 4 🌟

Just me…

Sitting in the car and listening to service…

Why? Sometimes hubby would ask me what I’m doing in the car and asks me to come down.

He’s not here today… my big boy is though and he’s probably inside sitting down. Hopefully next to Lola.

Me… I’m in the car… why?

Because no one sits next to me at church.

Even when I save a seat for someone to sit next to next, it’s just my bag saving the space.

Sometimes, big boy will next to me if I ask. I try not to expect it so I don’t get disappointed. Most of the time, I look for my husband.

Big girl and the little ones go to class. Even when my parents come, I still end up sitting on a different row.

So today, I sit in the car. It’s the same thing as sitting by myself… just me.

Flowers for u

I bought her a Plumeria tree plant… it’s beautiful and smells good. I know she would like it. Instead:

“Where do YOU want to plant that?”

“Anywhere is fine.” I said.

I just wanted to hear something nice… like “Thank you…”

The plant was not for me.

So I dared to ask, “Do you want me to just return it then?”

“How much was it?”

“$30”

“You have to plant that… $30? Return it if you can return it.”

… returning it…

I don’t know if $30 is expensive… is it?

If they only knew…

She walks down the stairs and enters the kitchen while I continue washing dishes. I usually go up to her first to kiss her, but I wanted to see if she would actually come up to me and give me a kiss… no kiss or hug…

Me: Hi, mom. How’s your day today?

Mom: Headache… I have a headache all day. (Starts packing and putting dinner away)

Me: (continue to wash dishes)… and just thinking. Realized I haven’t kissed my Mei Mei, yet.

Mom: So how many people did you kill today?

Me: (trying to think of an answer without being rude)

Mei: Nanay?! Don’t ask her that question.

Mom: Well, isn’t that what she does?

Me: (still nothing to say… silence and continues to wash the dishes)

She leaves and when she does, I’m done with the dishes and I hug and kiss my daughter.

Then, I stuff my face with the rest of the brownies and gulp down milk while I watch and listen to my two girls play and laugh. While in the back of my mind, I think to myself, “If she only knew that I come to work for her and treat my patient as if she was my patient. I treat them with love and servitude – I listen, and I hug them, and I kiss them. I pray and hope that their pain goes away and I pray that God gives them and their family strength. I applaud them for being so strong. They are my hero and I admire them for their strength and hope to keep moving forward even when the pain is too much. If only she only knew that I’d do it all for her. But I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. So I come to work and give what I can, because at least at work, I can feel like I’m worth something. If only she knew that her words can pierce a heart and make it ache. Even after a long day when I’ve seen loved ones let go of their child, father, mother, daughter/son… it’s not easy, but someone’s gotta do it. So how many people have you killed? Just one… me.”

Ahhh… SPA!

I usually don’t like to go out and celebrate. Being a mom is so tough. But I put in the effort. Glad I did. Had a wonderful day with these ladies. Glad they all got to go and enjoy an afternoon of relaxation and some wonderful food.

At Kona Kai Resorts

Happy Mother’s Day!

Also, got a lovely and sweet call from my niece and nephew! (Gavin and Marlow)

?

I feel worthless as if everything I’ve ever tried to accomplish has fallen through the cracks. I’ve lost time and money but mostly time. Time I can’t get back and I just want to scream and cry and just give up.

I don’t even know what to call the title on this frustration I’m putting out.

I deny the fact that I am upset by it telling anyone. I walk around as if everything is okay and cover it up with, “I’m just tired.” So that I can just go back to the bathroom, my sanctuary, go into the shower and cry. It’s the only place where I can hide my tears without even Noticing that I’ve dropped a bucketful of it.