You never apologize when you know you’re wrong. It hurts my feelings and it’s selfish of you to be that way. Pride is not good, it hurts, and it makes me sad longer even if happiness happens more often, the sadness lingers and wastes my time.

Saying sorry is not hard, so why not just say it even if you may think you’re right? If anything, it helps with the relationship, but if you allow pride to continue on, I should have left a long time ago.

Don’t get defensive when I say You. You’re the only person I’m talking to so there’s no else. And because I value our relationship, my silence is what I’ve learned to do rather than say what’s on my mind. Because words that’s I say, I can’t take back, otherwise, I can say things that I do mean, so I’d rather not say anything at all. That’s how important you are to me.



I wasn’t quite hungry today. I just ate left overs. For dinner, I figured I’d just eat pb&j. I asked the kids already if they ate. When they found out I was going to make pb&j, they wanted some too.

There was only two breads left. I looked at my little ones and they were so excited to make a sandwhich with me. I helped them make theirs and then I went back upstairs with my string cheese Baybel. I was about to message Hubby to buy some bread cause I know the cheese won’t fill me up and I don’t want to eat rice.

Next thing you know, Elijah comes upstairs and shakes his other half of the bread. I think either he realized or sister told him that was supposed to be my dinner – and that cheese is what I ended up eating. I wasn’t sad, but this makes me so proud of him to give him. I told him he doesn’t have to do that. I made sure I asked if he’s full. He said he wanted to. Thank you, Elijah! Mwa!


Remind me again why…

– I work so hard

– why I’m going back to school

– worry

– eat well

– exercise

– care

I can do everything…

168 hours in a week

6hrs/ day sleep if any… (average 5hrs) = 42 hours

72 hour work week

13 hours for school

Divide the rest of my time by 8 (8 people in my household – 4 kids, husband, Mom and Dad)… this doesn’t include the dogs, and other family and friends… 5hrs each to my household a week. That’s one hour and 1mins with each member in my household.

I manage my time very well… I look at every minute and every hour of my day and I give them to someone who wants it and if you want my time, I’ll give it, because God blesses me with more time to live… so if you need me, just let me know, but don’t make me feel bad when I don’t have it at that moment. It’s not fair – I ask and I ask and I ask, and the answer is always no, so when you finally ask, and I say “No,” then don’t ask ‘why.’ But do keep in mind that when we I say ‘no.’ It breaks my heart, because I want to be there. I want to help and I want to be supportive.

Don’t push me away, because everything I do- my work, my schooling, my kids, the little things I clean when you’re not looking (like dusting), I do them for you. I don’t ask for a lot… but I do ask for respect of the time. I have to work, clean, take care of the kids during school days and much more that I just don’t have time to actually do the things I really want to do – like draw, take a 🛀 bath, do my nails, learn and instrument, things I LIKE TO DO. It’s a sacrifice I tell people. Does it make me happy? Yes, because it’s for my family. But you know what? If it doesn’t make you happy, then why do I even try?

Do my efforts make anyone happy? Isn’t even enough? Do you not see my time above and how I manage them?

Apparently not… I don’t know if I’m the selfish one or you…


Today is a very special, yet also a very sad day in my family.

Today is Ting’s birthday. He turns 33 years old. 🙂 Stephanie and the kids surprised him at roller skate land. I didn’t get to go because I had work, but I heard they had a great time.

Today my brother cried. He was sad. He sent a text in the afternoon asking for prayers for Corey, Bonnie’s brother. Unfortunately, Corey didn’t make it.

“Corey was pronounced dead at 2210 central time.” He said.

I asked Kuya if he can talk. He called me and I listened. I tried not to talk a lot. My brother cried. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. I told him it was okay to cry – it’s what makes us human. I told him when Bonnie comes home, just hold her… you don’t have to say a word, but if you want to cry, just cry. He’s worried about what to say to the kids. He asked me about pergatory. He said Gavin knows what it is, and Gavin is going to get mad because his uncle isn’t going to heaven. I told my Kuya, that I know that when someone believes in Jesus, he will go to heaven because he believes. Corey believes.

Today Nai Nai’s Mom, Ting’s grandma, also past away. I sent her a greeting to send her my thoughts and prayers.

Today I pray for my family. Lord, please hear our prayers. I lift up to you the people I love. Hear their hearts and heal the brokenness inside them. Bless others with protection and healing and may they have many more years to come.

Just scan me…

Take the day off today per the request of my eldest daughter. She practically begged for me not to go to work today. All morning I kept asking the children what did they want to do? They had no answer. Well, I told them if you guys don’t want to go out and I am just going to go eat. Well, the girl said let’s go to the mall. So to the mall we went. But the police, they stayed home.

So we go to the stores and we shop and we eat me look around and enjoy all the Christmas decorations that were put out right before Thanksgiving. It’s freezing how cheerful people get when it comes to the holiday season. Anyways, Myella was so overly excited. We went to a store called H&M and she saw the sweater that she really really really liked. She wanted to try it on. So she did. Then her sister told her to take it off. The little one said, “No, just scan me.”

Hehehe! Silly things my kids say.

She really liked the sweater!

Happy Birthday Son!

Today is my son’s birthday… he turns 17! 

So happy and excited that he’s reached this age. Every year that my child (or anyone) gets to celebrate their birthday makes me happy. It’s simple that’s why. Another year of life. 

He wanted a simple celebration at home. Nothing fancy or expensive, just good food and hanging out at home with friends. 

He invited about 20 people, but about 10-15 came. Still a good outcome… plus family of course which is like an additional 2030 more people.

Nanay made him his favorite dishes and a few that were made especially for his friends who are vegetarian. I didn’t cook anything, but I didn’t make the time to go out and buy food so that my mom can cook it and also bought some sweet treats, utensils, cups, and you know, the things additional that you would need for a birthday party. When it comes to birthdays, it’s priceless. The memories are priceless. I love watching the kids smile. I love watching my mom cook. I love hearing everybody say how wonderful the food tases. I like hearing people say thank you to my mom the wonderful food and I like everyone just complementing the whole birthday.

I guess I didn’t do much. My mom loves to do all the cooking. And I know that one day I’ll have the opportunity to do some of the cooking. I could or probably would never compare to the type of dishes she would cook, but you would think by now I would be able to cook just like she does. I wish we had a bigger kitchen. So that I could make certain dishes and food that my husband would like, that my children would enjoy, and keep the tradition going. But I guess as long as my mom lives, I will enjoy every second and every moment I have with her.

My son really loves his grandma‘s cooking. And I’m glad that she is here for him. I didn’t really grow up with my grandma, so I’m thankful for my family.

We waited until 5 o’clock and sang happy birthday and then prayed for my son as soon as his dad got home. This time, I make sure I didn’t accidentally missed the recording.

It’s still early. Family just came around 530 to come and celebrate with the rest of the family. I’m really tired. I wish I could just lay down and go to bed it’s still early. Family just came around 530 to come and celebrate with the rest of the family. I’m really tired. I wish I could just lay down and go to bed. But it’s only 6:30 PM. 

He stepped away from the party for a little bit to get some time for myself. I figured there’s so many people here already, they’re not going to miss me. I guess I was wrong, my husband just came to say hi and check up on me. He’s so sweet. At least, he thinks about me. And he remembers me. But that’s what husbands are for, right? To always be there for you, to always love you, and to be your friend when you need them the most. He such a wonderful dad too.

So with all this happiness around, Why am I crying? Why do I feel like I’m alone? Why do I feel isolated? Every year, for my kids birthdays. I take the day off. And I do little things to surprise them. It’s hard for me to wake up early in the morning, and truly greet them with a wonderful breakfast. I’m just not that kind person. But in the middle of the day I always try to find a way to bring to their classroom some type of treat. Whether it’s pizza, ice cream, candy giveaways, or even balloons, I always try to find a way to show them that I care. And it might be just a little thing. But it means a lot to me, because this is the day that I became a mom to them.

So, I guess my real question and what really bothers me, is… So why didn’t he introduced me to his friends his mom? Maybe I’m just being a little too sensitive. But he’s just going up so fast. And, sometimes I don’t feel like he looks for me or even talks about me as much as he does about his dad? I spend a lot of time at work. But I’m the most special occasions, I make sure I get that time off, just to be with them.

I guess that’s what makes it the most challenging part about being a mom. Sometimes, we don’t get recognize for the little things we do for our children. Which makes me realize that maybe that’s how my mom feels when I don’t recognize your for the little things she does. I’m sorry. I try to be a better daughter, I’ll try to be a better wife, sister, and I hope I can try to be a better mom. 

Especially for my son and all my children.


The night was almost over and my son and his friends were still downstairs enjoying the evening. I went up with the little ones to prep them for the night. I played with Myella and then I taught her about squiggles, a type of art I learned when I was kid. My art teacher would draw some type of shape and we had to make something out of it. Elijah was showering while we drew and guessed what we were drawing. Then Elijah was done and wanted to draw too. So we drew and wow, these kiddos imaginations are impressive. 🙂 But it was getting late and Myella and I still needed to bathe, so she drew a couple of squiggles for her brother and then we got ready for bed. 

God is good, because He knew what was in my heart and what bothering me. I think He also planned that I have four children of my own because He knew one was just not enough for me – this is what my kids did to remind me and showed me that a mother’s love is not blind. 

Had to hold back the tears. Then I wondered, did he read my post?

Hmm… ❤️ mwa!